


An Unwanted Milestone

by xladysaya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake Dating, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, M/M, ex boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 12:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17386106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xladysaya/pseuds/xladysaya
Summary: This should be the last place Tsukishima wants to be, stuck at a wedding with his ex-boyfriend in tow.If only Kuroo would actually give him a reason to hate it.





	An Unwanted Milestone

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY KUROTSUKI DAY!! I'm so happy I haven't been missing any big fandom events lately lmao I used to miss them all the time ; ; Kurotsuki really is that powerful ha. Anyways, this fic is actually for one of the people who won my fic giveaway on twitter a couple weeks ago! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this [kuroostsuki](https://twitter.com/kuroostsuki) <3 I tried to fit in a lot of what you wanted, and it was great to write something a little out of my comfort zone ^^ Also sorry for the sugumika, I couldn't resist adding my boos in here ;)
> 
> Thank you [EmeraldWaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldWaves/pseuds/EmeraldWaves) for reading this over!

He wishes he could go into a long spiel about how disgusting Kuroo Tetsurou is. One of those big novel openers, something that establishes him as the villain from the first line alone.

It would be packed with anecdotes about his rude behavior, the grittiness of his hair, his horrible laugh. Metaphors and similes, comparisons of unimaginable grisly creatures, anything to get one single point across: Tsukishima Kei is better off without him.

Tsukishima wishes and wishes, but the simple fact is, he can't. He can't do or say any of those things.

He can't, because none of those things are true.

\--

"Just think honey, after this you'll never have to see him again!" His mother chirps happily on the other end of the phone, and Tsukishima can hear the pans hitting the stove as she and his father prepare dinner. Basically, they're not too worried about his current plight.

"Right..." Tsukishima mumbles, lacking even a quarter of the energy and enthusiasm his mother has. He doesn't know if he's ready to never see Kuroo again, but he supposes he won't have much of a choice. He has to start somewhere.

At least his mother is there to remind him.

On the other side of the doors, Tsukishima hears a loud eruption of cheers, signaling the arrival of the bride and groom.

They can't stand here and stall forever, but he  _does_  have to wait for Kuroo. The other is currently in the bathroom, no doubt avoiding Tsukishima for as long as he can.

However, even Kuroo must hear the crowd from in there, because Tsukishima vaguely hears the door opening.

"Anyways, I'll talk to you guys later," he rushes out, and winces at the sound of his mother's quick goodbye. It's too loud, too  _vibrant_. It doesn't mesh well with the panicked feelings currently brewing in his gut.

As he ends the call, the object of his dread steps into view, perfectly tailored suit and all. Honestly, Kuroo is too handsome for his own good, and Tsukishima wonders if the effects of that will ever wear off. 

Probably not, he muses, taking Kuroo's hand as practiced. He doesn't let himself look at Kuroo as he does so; if he did they'd both be screwed. Already, it's hard to resist a blush. Kuroo keeps his eyes dead ahead too, and Tsukishima refuses to think too much about that as he's thrust out into a world of romance and lights.

Of all the awful, nonsensical cards life has dealt him in his twenty-six years of life, this moment right here has to  _at least_ make the top five.

Kuroo's hand is clammy in his own as they walk through the reception hall, and Tsukishima tries to tell himself it sucks. Kuroo's hands are naturally clammy and rough after years of volleyball and papercuts from new chem textbooks, so it shouldn't be the coziest touch in anyone's mind. Even still, the universe truly hates him more than the average person, because their hands fit perfectly as they always have.

Tsukishima's frown deepens, which is a shame considering the decor. He looks above at the ceiling, at the hanging lanterns giving off shades of subtle gold and muted pink. Flower petals from the ceremony sprinkle the ground now, the large dining plates and cloths are an obvious homage to Nohebi's colors--if not less obnoxious.

An LED candle is set in the middle of every table, surrounded by sparkling glass which reflects the faces of those around it. Really, for a budget wedding, it's a dreamland.

Tsukishima feels lost in a sea of champagne and smiles. The clinking of glasses echo through his ears as he allows Kuroo to tug him along to find their place setting, another sore reminder of their relationship. The ribbons which line the tables and chairs are obviously handmade projects, but they look professional in nature, and he's thankful for them.

And not just because Kuroo has tripped over several of the longer ones already.

Tsukishima can focus on them as he walks, because looking at Kuroo is not an option.

Kuroo always knows when Tsukishima is staring, like some annoying, useless superpower.

_Huh_ , he thinks as he focuses on the decorations with unrealistic intensity (soon he'll give up, it's hard to pretend to care like this). But Mika really is unnecessarily stubborn about some things; not even Tsukishima is enough of a perfectionist to learn how to make ribbons  _this_  nice. In fact, for his and Kuroo's wedding, he'd wanted bouquets inste--

Tsukishima stops so fast it jerks Kuroo back a few paces, and Kuroo makes an almost cat like shriek. Only a few people stare, so thank god no one is really paying attention to them. It sounds like he just dumped a bucket of freezing water onto his companion, and Tsukishima feels pleased for .2 seconds.

Then, he's reminded of why he stopped. A shame. He closes his eyes, and for once the loud conversations and music around him are welcome. He does  _not_  want to hear himself think right now. Especially when it leads to thoughts like  _that_.

This is why this whole thing was such a bad idea. As much as he wishes he was over their breakup, he just isn't. He can't bounce back as well as Kuroo, no matter how much he's grown. They've only been broken up for a month, but neither of them have been able to bite the bullet and tell any of their friends.

There's a lot of reasons why. The shame, the regret, or just the general awkwardness. It's how they ended up here, at Daishou and Mika's wedding, parading around as a couple because they hadn't had the balls to just call and tell them they wouldn't be sitting at the same table anymore.

So they suffer.

If Tsukishima can say anything about them as a duo anymore, it's that their pride is deadly, even to themselves.

When's he's gathered himself enough to open his eyes, when he knows he won't have a full-on  _moment_  in the middle of the crowded reception hall, Tsukishima finds Kuroo staring back at him with concern that's all too unfair.

It's the same concern which greeted Tsukishima when he was sick in bed and Kuroo made him soup. It's how Kuroo looked at him when Tsukishima got anxious, or scared, or any number of emotions which Kuroo can detect in him at the drop of a hat.

It's so infuriating, Tsukishima wants to reach into his ex-boyfriend's brain and scrub any trace of himself out of it. Why does Kuroo get to know so much, when he's the one who decided to leave?

He can still remember the words. Too brief, too vague.  _"It's better for you this way."_

What kind of fucking shit is that?

Reminded, Tsukishima doesn't feel  _as_  vulnerable, even with Kuroo's face so close to his. Tsukishima can see the syllables forming on Kuroo's lips, the standard, butterfly inducing line:  _"Kei, are you alright?"_

But no, Tsukishima won't have that. So, he does something he hasn't done around Kuroo in years.

"What's with you?" Tsukishima deflects, grumbling almost inaudibly. He knows Kuroo hears it though, another unfortunate side effect of their one-year relationship and even longer friendship.

Kuroo looks like he's been slapped out of nowhere, his face twisting in surprise. His eyes are a sight when this happens, big and bright. Tsukishima often got lost in the golden color, especially apparent in the low-light.

It would be funny, if not for the way Kuroo frowns, childishly mimicking him. "Me? What's with you?"

_You--_

He's trying really hard to sound like a jerk, Tsukishima notes. The fact he can't even do that well is more salt in the wound. Kuroo is unbearably kind, he sounds like a failed actor playing an 8th grader.

Tsukishima refuses to go down that path.

"Nothing," he breathes out with a shrug, his grip tightening on Kuroo's hand for emphasis, but not the usual, comforting kind. "It's awkward.  _We're_  awkward."

_It's awkward because I have the urge to kiss you all the time and I shouldn't. You dumped me like yesterday's forgotten garbage, but you're still somehow charming even in that tacky suit._

Tsukishima wants to go home.

All this just makes him feel an extra level of pathetic, because as well as Kuroo knows him, he surely can't be feeling the same way. After all, he did the dumping. His desire for Tsukishima should be slowly fading.

Fine.

He says that, but there's hours to go,  _hours_. He doesn't know if he'll make it.

Why did they think they could do this?

Kuroo looks down at their joined hands, as if he'd forgotten, and Tsukishima doesn't know how he should feel about that. It's cute, unfortunately, and it makes him want to barf. Then Kuroo is peering at the obvious discomfort in Tsukishima's face, his stiff posture, and the confused expression morphs into the human equivalent of a kicked puppy.

Tsukishima's emotions are thrown into the storm that is Kuroo Tetsurou for the thousandth time, and he wonders if he'll ever touch the ground again.

"Well, we convinced everyone at the ceremony, right?" Kuroo says, and his attempt at a shrug is more a jerk of his shoulder than anything else. It's not like him; Tsukishima wants him to stop. Before his mind runs away with theories of how much Kuroo hates being around him, Kuroo's next words hit him like two hundred wedding bouquets, harsh and hitting too many nerves. "Sorry being around me is so awful."

Tsukishima's shoulders hike up, and he stares ahead, stunned. He doesn't even protest as Kuroo begins to lead him again, though slower this time. Ever the considerate young man, as his grandma would say.

The reminder of Kuroo's family hurts. He actually really likes them, but maybe he'd overstepped there too. Maybe that's why Kuroo severed their tie. Kuroo didn’t seem to be particularly welcoming to Tsukishima's family in the past few weeks, perhaps because he knew their opinions wouldn't matter anymore.

Ouch. He  _has_  to stop thinking about these things.

Still, Tsukishima violently stuffs down the urge to tell Kuroo he's wrong. As much as he wants it to be true, being around Kuroo is never a terrible time.

But anyways, what right does Kuroo have to act so hurt?

It's true they shared a lot of time together, but  _Kuroo_  ended it.

Tsukishima clings to that truth tighter, until it nearly bends in his arms.

"Do you remember the plan?" Kuroo huffs, and normally Tsukishima might poke his cheek when he gets like this. A frustrated Kuroo is not common, so it doesn't take much to ground him. Now, Tsukishima feels out of place. It's really not his job to soothe Kuroo, as much as he might want to. 

So he keeps going, and marvels at how easy it is for them to talk,  _still_.

"Of course, you only told me five hundred times," Tsukishima says, rolling his eyes. The ghost of a smile manages to creep onto his face, despite everything. There might even be an additional skip in his step, and he swings Kuroo's hand without meaning to. "You're the one who forgets things under pressure."

As expected, Kuroo is immediately insulted. Tsukishima hardly had to put in any effort, and Kuroo is glaring at him with stuttering words. "Name one time--"

And, without missing a beat, Tsukishima smiles up at him. "Last year's Christmas party."

" _Fuck_."

Tsukishima holds his head just a little higher. It's a memory which he'll think of fondly no matter how distant they grow, it's impossible not to.

He expects Kuroo to grumble, to shoot something back, maybe reference all of Tsukishima less refined moments in retaliation. It would fit their current dynamic; the appearance of people who don't care about each other when one clearly does.

Tsukishima is fine with it. He can go angst over it when he gets home, but for now it's enough to pretend they're just snarky enemies to each other. Rivals. Spurned acquaintances. Whatever.

But Kuroo surprises him as always, and ruins everything.

Kuroo pauses too long, and Tsukishima knows what that means before he even speaks. Kuroo is about to either break his heart or revive it, but in this case...he can't imagine recovering.

"You'll never let me forget that one huh?" Kuroo sighs out, punctuated with a soft laugh. Too fond, too secretive, like things whispered between sheets and in each other's arms.

Tsukishima doesn't know what to say, but Kuroo must still care a little bit, because he doesn't wait to continue. "A-anyways, we just have to make it through tonight."

_Tonight. Then you'll leave._

For good.

Tsukishima can't forget that.

"Yeah," he breathes, trying to keep his voice steady. "Then it's over."

Really over.

Tsukishima feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, most likely another concerned text from his parents, but he doesn't bother to check. He hasn't been able to accept their sympathy yet, and with how he feels right now, it'll just be bad for him.

Kuroo tenses and steps back; he must've felt it too. That, or Tsukishima's words hit him as harshly as they do Tsukishima himself.

"I guess," Kuroo mumbles, and Tsukishima wishes it sounded as flippant as he'd expect. Why can't Kuroo sound like a jerk? What is that disappointment so heavily laced in everything he says?

Or maybe Tsukishima is giving him too much credit; the banter is back before he can blink, the walls are back up. He falls back into it all too willingly.

This he can do, but he doesn't know for how long. The question burns on the tip of his tongue.

"Now, don't forget we have to act the same as before," Kuroo instructs, and his grin is back, shit eating and brighter than the chandeliers. "So feel free to fawn over me constantly and confess your undying love every twenty minutes."

Tsukishima is upset this isn't a movie; a record scratch would've been perfect right now. He fixes Kuroo with the most unimpressed stare he can manage, and makes sure to pinch Kuroo's finger in addition.

"I've never--" he starts, but then his lips are sealed shut like a ziplock. Okay, so that would be false. He and Kuroo could be pretty bad about PDA, or that's how it  _was_. Now, Tsukishima can't see him ever being like that with anyone ever again. How humiliating. "I refuse."

Though, they should've discussed this. They're known for touching, constantly. Hand holding, shoulder touches, hell, Tsukishima sometimes would full on sit in Kuroo's lap. With all of that absent...well, their friends can't be that dense.

He'll have to remember to lean on Kuroo every now and again, or keep their interactions with others short. The most important thing is for Daishou and Mika to see them. Simple.

"Right," Kuroo snorts. "Don't worry. I can act normal enough for the both of us! I'll feed you pickup lines you hate and you'll fake your laughs--"

It hits a nerve, and the words are out of Tsukishima's mouth before he can stop them.

"I never faked a laugh," he corrects, because it's true. It might make him seem more pathetic, as if Kuroo didn't already  _know_  he's upset, but Tsukishima will be damned if Kuroo tries to pin part of their breakup on him. He never gave off that kind of vibe, right? He shakes it off, and turns away from Kuroo's wide eyes. "Are you ready?"

_I need this to be over._

Kuroo takes a deep breath, and for a moment, Tsukishima fears he'll press him, but he sighs a second later, leading Tsukishima away. They haven't broken apart since arriving, and Tsukishima wonders what that means for both of them.

"Yeah," Kuroo mumbles, and that's the end for now. It has to be, because the path of flower petals opens up to a larger area in the center of the hall, larger tables for the bride and groom's family and friends. And naturally, right in the center, with the biggest cake he's ever seen, stands Daishou and Mika.

Daishou sees them at the same moment they see him, and as they approach the table, his sneer grows menacing. Whatever, Tsukishima has lots to say about his dark  _green_  suit, so he's ready to throw down.

He never gets the chance.

"Well if it isn't the worst couple in the-- _hurh_!" Daishou's obnoxiously loud voice (a borderline yell, really), is promptly cut off when his new wife crams a piece of cake far down his windpipe. It's so instantaneous and forceful, Tsukishima reaches up to grab his own throat. Even Kuroo cowers.

Yet, Mika seems completely unfazed. She licks her frosting-coated fingers as Daishou coughs and convulses, her smiles as bright and welcoming as the day they met her.

"You guys came!" she says, and she claps her hands together, forgetting about the sticky cake remains on the tips of her fingers. She grimaces at the sensation, but it's not enough to ruin her mood. The mischievous spark Daishou adores returns to her eyes as she looks at Tsukishima, her smile close to devilish. "I know Kei hates afterparties so..."

Tsukishima rolls his eyes at her, and she giggles. It's nicer than wedding bells, sweeter than the calorie heavy cake in front of them. Tsukishima can't fight her. And besides, he supposes he can let it slide on her special day.

Mika looks nothing short of stunning. Her gown is unconventional, as most of her likes are; Daishou included. Her auburn hair sits pretty on the tops of her shoulders, fixed only with an intricate barrette of silver vines, thorns included. Truly, she admires Daishou's influence.

Otherwise, the gown is pink in every sense, with some green accents around the flowery bottom. She had to match Daishou somehow, Tsukishima guesses.

The dress is strapless with a sweetheart neckline, the body tightly fitted to her petite figure. Light pink lace travels from the neckline's dip all the way to her waist, and from then on the skirt fans out a little, lined with pastel flowers. She looks like Persephone, as cliche as it sounds. In fact, with how obsessed Mika is with the myth, Tsukishima wouldn't be surprised if the theme is intentional.

Bright, sparkling Mika, lively as spring, next to the dark green shades of Hades-like Daishou.

Only difference? Daishou isn't nearly as scary as the deity he's modeled after. Especially not when he looks so enamored.

Mika doesn't seem to notice all the looks she's getting, mostly from her now-husband, and Tsukishima has to look away. He'll never be used to the fondness on Daishou's face, reserved solely for one person alone.

Plus, the outfits are a bit much for his tastes, and even looking at them brings his own wedding plans to the forefront of his mind.

"I'm only here to be petty," Kuroo says, standing a little straighter. He doesn't have to, but he always had a flair for the dramatics. Against his will, Tsukishima smiles.

"Yeah, we're the reason you two are even together," he adds, much to Kuroo's surprise. No matter what's going on between them, the victory of getting Daishou into such a corny relationship isn't one he can ignore. It felt like a triumph back in the day, because Daishou could not longer give them so much shit.

"Exactly," Kuroo says, and he nudges Tsukishima gently, in the same way he always did. It feels too familiar, friendly. Too  _them_. "This is the ultimate display of 'you were right' and it's glorious."

Regardless, Tsukishima gives a full blown laugh this time, and Kuroo perks up even more. At least the kicked puppy look is gone.

The way Kuroo is staring at him should unnerve him, way too happy and interested in the way Tsukishima's laugh fades into giggles, but it's too natural for Tsukishima to react 'correctly.'

He doesn't get much time to reflect either.

"Hey, knock that off," Daishou says through his coughing spell, and Mika doesn't notice his glare in the slightest. "We're the ones getting married, none of your bedroom eyes."

It makes the both of them snap out of it; they flinch, turning to Daishou so fast it strains Tsukishima's neck. "We  _aren't_ \--"

"Yeah, yeah whatever," Daishou waves them off, and thankfully he's still too preoccupied with checking Mika out to notice the blush growing on his face. God, this is humiliating. More for him than for Kuroo but  _still_.

"Here Tsukishima." With notable reluctance, Daishou hands him a piece of cake. A nice one too, complete with a sugar flower and a decent serving of frosting. Daishou must like him more than he lets on. "Peace offering."

Hell, Tsukishima will take it. It's about the only thing he'd been looking forward to tonight. However, making things easy for Daishou is not in Tsukishima's DNA at all.

Calmly, he takes the cake, fixing Daishou with the deadest stare he can manage. "Is it laced with poison?"

"Why the  _fuck_  would I--"

"Seriously did that manifest out of thin air, I definitely didn't see it," Kuroo plays along, eyeing the cake, and Tsukishima has to bite back a smile.

Daishou looks one hundred percent done, but it's not enough. They need to hear the magic words.

"Suspicious," Tsukishima sighs in agreement, picking at the cake with a plastic fork. The only sad thing about this plan is the fact he can't shove the whole thing in his mouth until Daishou is gone.

Won't be long though.

"You two are uninvited, and I hate you," Daishou deadpans, and well....there it is. Tsukishima and Kuroo exchange winning grins, but right before Daishou has any chance of retaliating, fate intervenes.

Can't even win against them at his own wedding.

"Come on Suguru! My parents want to talk to us!" Mika interrupts, tugging Daishou's arm roughly, and the Hades-wannabe deflates in an instant.

It's almost...endearing, how easily he lets himself be dragged away into the crowd.

Under their breaths, Kuroo and Tsukishima make a light 'whipping' sound effect, one they know Daishou can certainly hear.

Yet, the snake has also grown in some ways it seems. He turns around, and shrugs. "You would know all about that right?"

It stops Kuroo's in his tracks, and Tsukishima can feel him tense up at the words. Oh right, things are still awkward.

Then, Mika looks over her shoulder, her grin as evil as can be. "They  _both_  do."

Tsukishima regrets being here. Especially as the new bride and groom disappear into a cloud of victory, but mostly because Kuroo is still stone-like beside him.

Great.

Without much else to do, Tsukishima stabs the sponge of the cake with his fork, maybe a little too aggressively. Mika's words couldn't be farther from the truth. "Well that was relatively painless."

So he says. He expects Kuroo to agree with him, to brush it off, but...

"Sure," the other sighs, and the raincloud is back, hanging heavy above his shoulders like it's barely keeping a storm back.

Tsukishima shoves half the cake into his mouth. He regrets it almost immediately.

_Oh--_

Tsukishima tries not to gag, but he does pause, his eyes widening in distaste as he calmly places his fork back on the plate. If he could, he'd just throw the whole thing into the trash. He's aware of Kuroo's eyes on him now, but...one problem at a time. He chews slowly, and it's agonizing; the frosting sticks to the roof of his mouth and the flavor of the sponge refuses to be anything other than overpowering. Such a shame; a beautiful, sweet appearance with a less than desirable inside.

Kinda like this whole evening.

"Don't like it?" Kuroo asks knowingly, trying not to laugh at the way Tsukishima finally manages to get the monstrosity down.

With a bitter note to his tone, Tsukishima grimaces. "Too rich."

Too rich, and definitely  _dark chocolate_. Daishou had to have done this on purpose.

Kuroo, in all his failed and successful baking endeavors (all taste tested by Tsukishima himself), never stooped so low.

And Tsukishima makes the mistake of saying just as much. "Your cake is better, the one you made for--"

_Our anniversary._

Tsukishima's lips clamp shut, but the damage is done, and worse? Now they're face to face, no avoiding it. Kuroo's eyes gloss over with something too vulnerable and touched, as if they weren't broken up. It's too...precious, if that's even a word Tsukishima would use to describe Kuroo right then.

Precious to him. God...

He remembers how happy they'd been that day; Kuroo's first successful first try at making anything other than muffins and cookies. The ratio of chocolate seemed perfect then, but then again, Tsukishima had been too happy to care about much. All that mattered was Kuroo's gentle grin, and the comfortable silence which came with cleaning the kitchen together.

Kuroo doesn't have enough respect to resist wincing. "Ah..."

Yeah. There really isn't much else to say.

But then, Kuroo's head dips forward, like it's in any way possible for him to hide, staring at the shoes Tsukishima had picked out for him. "You...remember that?"

Why would he  _not_  remember that? Does Kuroo not?

How much was he supposed to scrub from his mind?

He hopes his glare says as much, and  _more_ , but it fades as quickly as it appears. Kuroo's confusion turns to concern, something else Tsukishima can't deal with. He remembers exactly where he is. He can't have a scene here, but...

That's the thing about nerves. They're unpredictable; he thought he was fine, that he could handle this. But Kuroo looks at him like that, like he's happy Tsukishima remembers some of the most important memories of his life, and now...

Now, everything is too much. People walking by them keep glancing over, his head is pounding, his chest feels tight.

The emotions running wild inside him are making it hard to breathe, and he picks at his fingers to no avail. It's not enough of a distraction when Kuroo is right  _here_ , when they're both surrounded by things that remind him of what they'll never have.

The back of his eyes burn and he hates it.

Tsukishima swallows, but his throat resists, scratchy and closing up; he can't stop trying to focus on something else, his eyes flitting around the room only to find how crowded and small it really is.

Too many eyes, too much in his head.

But Kuroo has to remember some things too apparently, and Tsukishima is glad it doesn't push him over the edge. Kuroo grabs his arm gently, ushering him forward, and Tsukishima is still too used to trusting his touch. He follows.

"Hey, let's go out on the balcony yeah?" Kuroo whispers, his other hand squeezing Tsukishima's. He knows; all the signs and mannerisms, he knows what Tsukishima needs.

It's not  _right_.

But Tsukishima nods, and lets Kuroo smile at him like he's the center of his world again.

"Alright, this way," Kuroo says, and they're back into the mess. Tsukishima knows he's overreacting though, because no one pays them much mind, too busy socializing, drinking, and staring with envy of the newly married couple (why Mika invited old college friends, he'll never know).

It calms his trembling shoulders for a brief moment, but he keeps his eyes on Kuroo's back for the most part, his own personal shield. The balcony doors are just ahead, only a few more feet...

Tsukishima Kei is not lucky, never has been and never will be.

Out of nowhere, Daishou's aunt appears, too smiley and just a little intoxicated. Tsukishima has only met her a handful of times, but her normally rosy cheeks are at least two shades darker from wine consumption.

Still, she's bright and loud and all the things Tsukishima can't stand right then.

Thank god, she sets her sights mainly on Kuroo, who, for whatever reason, tenses up in .2 seconds.

"Oh Kuroo! I'm so happy you're here," she says, or  _yells_ , and Tsukishima's ears ring afterward. Kuroo's hand is growing progressively sweatier. "I haven't heard from you in awhile!"

Tsukishima tries not to yelp as he's tugged forward; for whatever reason, this is the last place Kuroo wants to be. The raven's eyes flick towards the balcony doors like they'll offer some sort of untold salvation, his feet steadily moving away from the overbearing woman.

Tsukishima has to wonder if she visited Daishou first, and he directed her towards them. Bastard.

"Ah yeah, well I've been busy," Kuroo says, his polite smile cranked up to the max. It never fails to work too well, the woman has no clue about the dread bubble around her.

Instead, her eyes take on the familiar mischievous twinkle which belongs to her nephew, and nudges Kuroo playfully. There's a deadliness there Tsukishima can't pinpoint, but Kuroo  _must_ , since the terror in his eyes belongs in one of their various favorite horror films.

Tsukishima's brow barely has time to arch before the words hit them, and Kuroo has no chance to escape.

"Oh I'm sure, planning such a romantic getaway!" She gushes, leaning far too close to Kuroo, as if Tsukishima can't hear every word she's saying. He's sure it's intentional, from the way her eyes look him over every now and again. "How was the cabin?"

Kuroo's reaction is comparable to coke and mentos. He jerks away, his hand slipping from Tsukishima's to form some kind of useless shield with his hands. The only thing missing is the bead of sweat rolling down his face, but his eyes scream enough to make up for it.

_Cabin?_

"Y-you know what, actually--"

Tsukishima blinks as Kuroo stutters uselessly, and he sorta wishes he'd done something more to help him get out of this. Especially when the next words leave her mouth.

The woman sets her sights on Tsukishima, bouncing over to him like she's got the juiciest gossip he can imagine, and normally he'd be all for it. He has a bad feeling though, as she leans closer, her giggles destroying all of his assumptions. "You know, he called me asking if you two could use that cabin in the mountains weeks ago! I had it cleaned for him and everything. I hope you two had a good time!"

Tsukishima blinks as Kuroo's attempt at an interruption short circuits.

"What?" He asks, for lack of anything better. Is she talking about Daishou's family cabin? Tsukishima has never been there in his life; he's only had to endure Daishou's braggy pictures of it. Not that Tsukishima doesn't like the idea of it, it's got a creep and cozy factor all in one, the only downside is the cold.

But why would Kuroo be talking to her about that? Kuroo had to have  _known_  they'd be breaking up around that time, there'd be no point in planning a vacation.

Tsukishima, at a loss, looks at his ex boyfriend for some rationale, but the other won't meet his eyes. Suddenly, it's all too much again.

Tsukishima hates being left in the dark; it's something Kuroo never allowed, but he guesses things are different now.

Before he can just up and leave this wedding and Kuroo behind completely, Kuroo's hand is in his again, pulling him towards the balcony with the best excuse he can manage. "I'll tell you about it soon! Sorry, I think we just need some air!"

But Daishou's aunt is already preoccupied with a passing tray of champagne, and she waves them off quickly, trailing after it. "Sure sweetie!"

Or, he thinks she says that. He's being pulled away too fast to hear it, the sweat and heat of all the bodies rushing past him until a cold wall of silence hits him.

The air outside is as sudden and alarming as the slam of the doors behind him. Tsukishima notes, with only mild irritation, that Kuroo prioritized getting him out onto the balcony by pulling him forward first, then going to the doors.

Honestly, when is this gonna stop...

Tsukishima breathes in, really breathes in, and despite his whirlwind of thoughts, feels infinitely better already. The music and cheer is mildly dulled by the doors, but he still feels miles away from the party. The chilly air nips at his nose and cheeks, but he loves it, feeling the wind hit his warm skin.

Quiet, at last, but not alone...

Kuroo shuts the double doors in dramatic Disney fashion, leaning against them with a long, drawn out sigh. Tsukishima isn't the only one who needed air, it seems.

Kuroo's eyes meet his for half a second before Tsukishima stubbornly turns back to the balcony railing, looking out at the park beneath them. This venue was Daishou's idea, not because of the beautiful gardens or scenery, but for the sheer isolation.

There's at least a few acres in front of them, all bright green grass and manmade lakes. The ceremony had been outside, but already it'd been transformed back to its original state. No lawn chairs, no altar, just the stars and the earth.

Tsukishima feels Kuroo take his first steps after an agonizing two minutes, settling by Tsukishima with caution. From the corner of Tsukishima's eye, he looks unfairly dazzling, leaning on the carved rails.

Tsukishima sighs, not quite ready to ask what's burning his tongue like a wildfire.

"It's so pretty," he muses, more like mumbles; anything to avoid speaking another lie, no matter how small.

Kuroo laughs gently beside him. "High praise from you."

"What, you don't think so?"

It would shock him. Kuroo always had a thing for views.

_"But looking at you is my favorite."_

Tsukishima shakes the memory of those words away violently.

"No, I do," Kuroo says, picking at a chipped section of the railing. "You and I tend to agree you know..."

The 'whether you like it or not' goes unsaid. And all at once, the animosity is too strong to hold back.

"You mean we  _used_  to." He practically spits it out. He's right, after all. He always thought they were on the same page, but then Kuroo threw the world's biggest wrench into their relationship out of nowhere, without so much as a sign, and now he's going to drop lines like that?

"Kei," Kuroo sighs, and now he's standing up straight, as if he'd been anticipating this. Good. Tsukishima has a  _lot_  to say.

"Please don't," Tsukishima silences him in an instant. And Kuroo, ever considerate Kuroo, lets him. He knows Tsukishima needs this. He knows every time, and it makes things so much worse.

Tsukishima's hand grips the rail so tight he's worrying about the old thing crumbling right beneath his fingers, but so be it. He steadies himself with a long, stuttering breath, and chastises himself.

He could start any number of better places, could just ask Kuroo plain and simple why they broke up, why this is even  _happening_.

Instead, he goes with his instincts, and prays his gut doesn't fail him.

"What was she talking about?" he asks, and his voice still shakes a little. He can't look at Kuroo directly, so he fixates on his tie, a tacky little thing with a green criss-cross pattern.

At least it matches some of Daishou's color scheme.

He sees Kuroo try to turn away, to huddle in on himself in an attempt to brush off the question, but Tsukishima is quite tired of playing these games with him.

All night it's been hesitant gazes and banter, the dread in his stomach battling with the butterflies, and now they're here.

"And don't  _lie_ ," Tsukishima forces out, and it does the job of a bear trap; Kuroo can't escape.

They have to do this eventually, but they're both stubborn. It's freezing, but the night is young. They can stay here for hours, at an unfortunate stalemate. How unlike them.

The silence sits, interrupted only by the breeze, chilling them to the bone. Kuroo only perks up when he sees Tsukishima shiver, and he steps forward on instinct.

Always trying to warm him up.

Tsukishima meets his eyes, and Kuroo catches himself before he crosses that familiar boundary, like he's forgotten how inappropriate the gesture now is. Tsukishima yearns for it nevertheless.

And then the small, simple admission. "I was going to take you," Kuroo whispers, almost to himself, before he remembers Tsukishima probably needs more. Way more.

Tsukishima's blood runs cold when Kuroo clears his throat. Talking about the future...their future, it's so oddly foreign now.

"I got permission from Daishou's family, it was going to be a mini vacation for us," Kuroo said, forcing a laugh. Nervous habit. "I thought you'd like the peace and quiet."

_I would've._

But he would've enjoyed it far more with Kuroo next to him.

"Why didn't you?" Tsukishima asks, fed up with letting the silence burn. Hiding his emotions won't work now, he's sure they're all over his face; agonizing confusion...disbelief. Pathetic. For the life of him, he can't wrap his head around it. "Why would you even  _plan_ something like that if you were going to dump me?" 

He puts extra emphasis on the word 'dump,' because part of his heart is still petty and cold. Years and years haven't changed that. It's not even necessarily fitting; Kuroo had been nothing but polite and apologetic, he'd even cried...

None of it made sense.

Kuroo flinches, and it's not as satisfying and Tsukishima wishes. "I  _didn't_ \--"

"What?" Tsukishima spits back, and he only vaguely realizes they're close now, face to face. When had that happened? "You didn't mean to? Please."

In complete truth, Tsukishima doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't know if he wants to hear for sure that Kuroo doesn't love him, or the opposite. Perhaps he just wants this to be a dream altogether, some kind of elaborate prank which Kuroo can spend the next few years making up for.

In the end, that's what it all comes back to. He loves Kuroo. No matter how much he tries to hate him, it never pans out. Part of him hopes as time goes, he'll get over it, but deep down he knows he's stuck with that love forever.

As frustrating as it is, he doesn't regret that. He just wants to know he's not delusional, he wants to hear Kuroo admit he's the same way.

Through these terrible wedding reminders and awkward family phone calls, lying to their friends...

He wants it all to go away.

"Kei, you don't understand I just..." Kuroo groans to himself, turning away and then back again. It's almost like a spin, his hands stuffed far into his pockets while he searches for the perfect words. Who knew Kuroo could struggle so much with that. "I just wanted to do what was best for you."

That is not the way Tsukishima wants it to be phrased. He glowers viciously; the least Kuroo could do is give him a non-cliche excuse for breaking his heart. "Best for me? Are you kidding?"

He scoffs, loud enough to echo across the park, and his tone is panicked, a sickly thing he knows Kuroo can't stand. But is he serious? They've been the best for each other since day one, or so he thought. The best for  _him_? The idea of Kuroo not being part of his life is just... "In what world would I  _ever_ \--"

Then the teeth holding Kuroo's lip down, the only thing keeping him from word vomiting all over the place, gives up. "Your parents didn't want me to see you anymore!"

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Kuroo freezes, recoils. But Kuroo can't always be a steel trap, the confession must've been eating him up inside, tearing and scorching...

Tsukishima can only blink.

None of it makes sense. He replays the moment in his head even as he stares at Kuroo's pale face, like an animal cornered by wolves, and still doesn't understand.

"What?" he whispers. 

It's too unique to be an excuse, a copout. Kuroo doesn't lie, not like this.

His parent?  _His_  parents?

The parents who never commented on his relationship with Kuroo or openly objected? The parents who were all smiles, pulled so tight Tsukishima's mouth hurt?

The parents who...sounded way too happy when Tsukishima and Kuroo broke up...

Oh.

He replays the call from earlier in his head, his mother's chipper voice sounding a touch too grating now. Had she...seemed upset at all? Tsukishima doesn't remember, he'd been so preoccupied with nursing his own wounds.

In fact, the only one who seemed genuinely sorry was Akiteru, but he's off backpacking in Europe. He wouldn't have any sway on their parents.

Tsukishima's face opens up almost comically, the realization smacking him in the face like cold water.

All the while, Kuroo sighs, his voice trembling in a way that makes Tsukishima want to jump into his arms.

"Sorry, I didn't want to tell you I just," he says, digging his heel in an old cigarette bud on the cement floor. "I don't know what to do anymore. I can't... _pretend_  around you, I..."

"Tetsu..." He starts, and the affectionate call has Kuroo's gaze on him in an instant. It feels so good to say it again. And for the first time in weeks, Tsukishima steps closer, unafraid. "What's going on?"

_You know you can tell me._

Warring with the possibility of rejection, Tsukishima reaches for Kuroo's hand on the balcony railing, and prays he won't regret it. When his fingers graze Kuroo's, the reaction is instantaneous. Kuroo's face fills with relief, with  _love_ , unmistakable. "Your mom...and your dad called me a few weeks before we broke up," Kuroo sighs, a wince following close after.

Tsukishima's expression must already look sour, because Kuroo jumps to continue quickly. Good call. Why the hell hadn't Kuroo  _told_ him this?

Although...it did somewhat feel nice to be the 'good' communicator for once.

Kuroo's influence, sadly, but even the raven needed help sometimes.

"Kei please, you have to believe me, I didn't want to!" Kuroo begs, and Tsukishima's heart skips a beat when he laces their hands together in earnest. "I just know how close you are to your family, I didn't want you to have to choose between them and me."

Kuroo. Stupidly considerate Kuroo,  _too_  considerate.

Tsukishima doesn't know who to wack, him or his parents.

No...his parents, definitely.

He takes one big inhale, willing the fires of his rage to die down. If Kuroo won't even say what words were  _exchanged_...it must've been bad. And Kuroo is so weak, he'd do anything to keep Tsukishima sheltered from pain.

All at once, Tsukishima wants to hold him close, let him exhale and lean on him. His poor, sweet, soon to be ex-ex-boyfriend.

As bad as he feels, the relief is immense. It wasn't a dream, but it's still not reality. Kuroo loves him, they can get through this. They'll make sure they do, as terribly cliche as it sounds.

Tsukishima is over pretending he's above this.

Before Tsukishima can take a step forward to close the gap, Kuroo is off rambling again, and wow, he really doesn't know what he's talking about. "I understand if you still hate me, but I figured you wouldn't care much if I broke up with you."

What an idiot.

"Tetsu," he says, slowly, barely holding it together. "Why wouldn't I care?"

Was it his fault? Had he been a handful? Work had been stressful but nothing  _that_  bad.

"Your parents said you were unhappy," Kuroo breathes out, and Tsukishima is officially never underestimating Kuroo gullible levels again. "I thought maybe you just didn't know how to tell me you were done. I thought this would be the best way to-- _ow_!"

Tsukishima condones violence only in these situations (or when Daishou is concerned).

Kuroo jerks his hand away, and yeah, it was a pretty good pinch on Tsukishima's part. "Hey!"

"And you didn't confront me?" Tsukishima asks. Isn't that Kuroo's basic principle?

"I didn't want you to know your parents had called!"

Tsukishima's face must be the equivalent of '???' but twice as baffled. He doesn't know where to go from there, so he just does what he does best. He observes and analyzes, though with less finesse than usual.

"You're the most infuriating, frustrating little man."

It makes a wave of catharsis crash over him, as refreshing as the air around him, but twice as addicting. They're a mess, but they're still a  _them_.

Tsukishima can be upset and cry and glare but it'll all be understandable, but more importantly, it'll all be something to heal from.

With Kuroo right next to him.

Kuroo sputters, unaware of the gross affection raging a war in Tsukishima's chest. "Whoa now,  _little_ \--"

Yes, Tsukishima wants to say, but he'll repeat himself later. For now--

"I...I love you," he whispers, and as usual, he blushes. He'll never be able to not mumble it, to sound confident, it's so embarrassing, but he means it.

And Kuroo knows it.

All protests die in Kuroo's throat, and the light comes back into his eyes, staring at Tsukishima in the usual, adoring way. It's only been a month, but it feels like coming home after years and years of isolation.

Kuroo blinks, like he can't believe things are actually going his way, like his happiness is still fragile. "Wait so--"

"I was never unhappy moron," Tsukishima reassures, and his grip around Kuroo's hand tightens. No pinching this time. "I would've said something, which I thought you  _knew_."

Okay, that's the last jab, he swears.

Kuroo winces, but he deserves it. The smile afterwards is just proof.

But as much as he's relieved, he realizes there's more problems for him to tackle. But with Kuroo, he somehow will manage.

"It was probably just my parents lying to you," he muses as the thought crosses his mind, glaring out into the park. How dumb did they think he was? As if he'd never find out. "They're so going to get it."

A few years of over the top Christmas presents, and an extra big wedding gift will do.

Kuroo is once again, too kind. "Wait...Tsukki, even if you love me, your parents--"

Tsukishima tries not to sigh too aggressively. If he has to beat Kuroo over the head with this, so be it.

"Tetsurou," he says, and Kuroo straightens considerably. There's no arguing with this. "I'm only going to reassure you once, so you better  _never_  breakup with me again, understand?"

Kuroo nods his head, and he can't hold back a grin, even when he's scared.

Maybe Daishou and Mika are right, they're gross and whipped. Oh well.

Then, Tsukishima backpedals. It's what's fair, he argues. In truth it's probably old high school insecurities rearing their ugly heads again. "Well, unless you really don't want to be with--"

"Kei, you're the only one I want to be with."

Tsukishima will be damned if he actually cries on the premises; he can't technically shed tears at Daishou's wedding, it's against his code, but damn is Kuroo making it hard. Those golden eyes see through him in the best of ways, melting him on the spot, and unsure of what he's supposed to say to that, Tsukishima finally falls into his arms.

Kuroo's arms wrap around him instantly, and Tsukishima feels, first and foremost, missed. It makes him shiver, soaking up all of Kuroo's warmth, and fighting to be closer.

He could stay there for the rest of the night, only interrupted by the clean up crew. It's an enticing thought, but he'd rather be home. Their home, the one where all his boxes are waiting because he hadn't had the courage to pick them up yet. They're there, waiting to be unpacked.

He breathes in Kuroo's cologne, his scent, and knows it won't leave him again.

"Well, good...that's settled," he whispers into Kuroo's chest, his voice just a bit shaky. No tears, he reminds himself as he pulls back. Kuroo keeps hi arms around him, like Tsukishima will dissolve if he pulls away completely.

Tsukishima has no complaints. "My parents are just going to have to get over it."

"Will that...work?" Kuroo asks, raising a brow.

Tsukishima shrugs.

"Eh, a few weeks of radio silence, some threats to not come to Christmas, a call to my grandmother, I have lots of ways."

_Lots_  of ways.

_Anything for you._

Tsukishima almost gags after he thinks it; thirty more minutes of being back together, and Kuroo's influence has already returned to his thoughts.

A small price to pay.

And even if none of those things work, he'll deal with it then. He's not letting Kuroo go, so long as Kuroo feels the same.

"You always did have backup plans," his boyfriend laughs, kissing the top of his forehead.

"Well yeah," Tsukishima says, proud. Then, he squeezes Kuroo's arms, driving the point home. As happy as Kuroo looks, he needs reassurance as much as Tsukishima does. It's not something a lot of people know about him, but Tsukishima is not just any somebody. "But not for this."

_Not for you._

This is it.

And then his theory is proven correct; Kuroo can smile even brighter than before, glowing in the dark.

He leans forward, pecking Tsukishima's lips, a teasing promise of kisses to come.

"Yeah, me neither," he whispers as he pulls back, the words ghosting over Tsukishima's lips. It's more intoxicating than champagne, sweeter than the frosting on the wedding cake. "I'm sorry Kei."

And Tsukishima knows he is, and he's sure they'll talk about it more later, when it's just the two of them, when he can feel Kuroo's tears mingle with his own on the tops of his cheeks.

For now, Tsukishima bundles closer, and lets Kuroo know it's all okay.

The music from the party is loud and unbothered by their episode, unaware too. Tsukishima knows they're in there dancing, fawning over Daishou and Mika. He's in a better mood now, maybe he won't mind actually joining them.

He might even give the cake another try, but only if Kuroo tries some too.

"What do you say? More cake? Maybe the dance floor?" Kuroo asks, reading his mind. And in true Tsukishima fashion, he feigns disinterest, the kind Kuroo can see through in less than a second.

"Fine," Tsukishima sighs, and Kuroo's smirk tells him exactly that. "Just this once."

It doesn't matter at the end of the day. They'll have plenty of other opportunities, more than he can count.

As Kuroo leads him forward for the second half of the night, Tsukishima lets himself imagine their wedding as one of those opportunities, and already can't wait for the long spiel of his vows. Not as refined as a big novel opener, but twice as meaningful.

Or, he hopes.

He's not the one gifted with words, but he has a long time to think about them.

For now, Tsukishima just wishes and wishes, hoping for this moment to never end.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'll hopefully have a lot more one shots coming up (my new year wip list is already long lol but I'm determined to hit my millionth word this year!) 
> 
> also, yes, if you couldn't tell from Mika's description, I'm very gay indeed. 
> 
> Follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/itsloveuasshole) for more rambles!


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